“You are not depressed” and you don’t look like you are depressed”.  These are common phrases that someone with depression may receive.  Let the “pity party” begin!  The reality of depression shall not be ignored.  Depression has been a noticeable topic recently within our new, young children/adults, and social media.  Lately people are diagnosing themselves with disorders such as: Bipolar and Depression.

The reality is that I have suffered Bipolar Depression all my life and was not formally diagnosed until I could not complete my daily functions.  However, it has been recent in last 4-5 years that I owned up to my illness. It has been a difficult journey. I wished just that depression would have been identified earlier.  Victims that commit suicide or violent crimes could have avoided their depression by receiving treatment.  The reality is that anyone can suffer from depression.  Some are in denial until they decide that enough is enough.  A person may be perceived as normal, but the outer-shell but the inner-shell the mind, is the illness.tumblr_m6hs6dEDtx1ry2xw8o1_500

Cultures, doctors, religion, employers/employees, family and friends have told me that there’s nothing wrong you to and “suck it up”.  It is important that everyone is properly educated on mental health.  With this knowledge, you will be able to help yourself and suggest help for others.  Smiling Depression is a term used to describe people who are depressed but do not appear so.  In America today, 6.7 percent of the population over the age of 18 suffers from major depression, and it is the leading cause of disability in the 15-44 age range after reading this blog, (How Social Media Affects our Perception).  Someone who puts up a shield behind social media and is not who they really are.  Social Media pressures are the main factors of depression.  Individuals that do not portray who they really are or even bullying on social media, have resulted in numerous stories of suicide attempts and/or deaths. Our children are primarily the victims because do not look depressed or expressed that they are depressed.  Even though I have been perceived as the life of the party. I suffered with “smiling depression” because I did not not appear depressed.  There’s often misconception of what depression looks like.  People tend to believe that if you’re depressed you’re “crazy”.

Check out the facts before you judge anyone so that you will be able to identify some symptoms that you, your family, or friends are experiencing.  Take advantage of the education and information that is available online and find organizations that represent depression. Get medical attention because self-diagnosis is not sufficient. Your mental health is so important to take care of.  Medications and therapy has increased in availability.  Please don’t judge a book by its cover, or place pity on someone that has depression and mental issues.  Positive encouragement is the best medicine that you can give to help anyone.  be-happy-happiness-is-choice-life-quotes-pictures-pics-600x368

Writing Is My Tabu!!

  Writing experiences has always been a challenge as long as I remember.  Writing is an ambition that I’ve always wanted to overcome the correct way has been a huge task for me over the years. Reading, Writing and Comprehension were a huge subject in our household growing up both for my younger brother and I. Growing up with both parents married in the late 1960’s with two small children going to college full time and working full time and I recall going to school with mother or father if no babysitters or crossover (mom or dad pick-up).


  After my mother and father graduated from college in the early 1970’s, that we both went to the graduations and clearly remember to this day. I’m setting this scene this is reference to my writing skills that has been weakness. My family moved out of the city into rural city in Southern California and my parents wanted the best education and private religious schools we went from elementary on up. The curriculum was tuff and especially when it came to writing. I cringe and the thought in about late fourth and fifth grade we had to write daily essay/journal. It was usually an hour 3-4 times a week and homework also of essays.  In class essays were the worse because when it came to writing and the sentence to take make sense and to be graded…oh no! It seemed the teachers were calling my parents every week about my writing and dread that because I had to hear the “preaching” of all the money they spend on private schools and want the best educations for the my brother and I. My parents were not the type of parents to sit down with me and be patient to study and help with homework and relied on teachers at school.  I was one of those students did sometime of no recess and after school detention with essay writing to catch up on work that I did not do in class. Hated it!  

Going into high school was one my biggest struggles with writing/grammar, and I had to encountered dealing my parents divorcing from marriage of 25 years and it was a terrible and along child custody battle with my younger brother and I. Tenth grade and I failed the whole year and did not “ditch” school. Just did not do the work and family drama took a toll on me mentally and psychically after third/fourth time in courts of my father fighting custody and received it, we moved and had to enroll in public schools. This is where my inspiration comes into play…is me!  My father insisted on holding me back a grade and I pleaded not too and talking to school counselor and I was able to re-do my classes in Adult School in summer and took full commitment to bring up my grade point average. Did English class and finished with a basic writing essay, History, Social Science both research and essay and another subject and I can’t remember because it’s over thirty years ago. All other classes were made in my junior year and I did graduate on time it was not easy.  My own inspiration in spite of all that I have been through at that time that I wanted to prove that I can do this and not fail.

Moving forward into my adult years and my intentions to be in college and my confidence of writing for a class went from “hero to zero”! Second guess myself with the basic writing skills and I was famous for fragments in my sentences. I was tired of receiving bad grades in college no solutions and my confidence was done. So…what happens that the procrastinations begins and my pride did not want to ask for help and  try to write a essay and discourage for a while and drop the class. I have so many English text books in garage in boxes that I have referred to when I needed for writing letters or for jobs over the years.


Writing has interfered with my jobs in my early years of jobs as I grew in corporate world in which I feel that I was second guess myself. Experience of supervisor proofread my e-mails that I send on daily basis to the corporation in regards to collections and would “reply to all” and embarrass me about my writing. WOW! “Tabu” again! No reasoning with this lady…only we could agree on we could not stand each other and I did not care. So..what I did went into my handy old English text book and kept in my desk and proofread my own writing with my own confidence. In job world it does catch up to you. “Gotcha”!

 Writing is so important to me because I have a lot to share and experiences. Over the years and recently ask to write a blog and a book but personally my writing skills was my biggest downfall that I have felt.  I have following on social media and building as I go and still learning all the others. Blogging websites are new to me and I know and heard that writing can be express of what want on your own blog. Well, I hope my mission will be accomplish and end of my “Writing is my Tabu”! 

Cheryl M<<<




Mirror is on the wall right?

Images are made up in our minds or your influenced by our peers, social media, ethnic culture influences, both family/friends pressures (that can be your worst enemy). “Ways of Seeing”? What does it means to you? It can mean so many things. In my personal experiences, I encountered various images within my ethnic community more than any others differences. Now, don’t get me wrong! I did have my share of some isolated situations in regards to my difference in my appearance, size, hair, height and I can go on and on and on…

Today, we call it “bullying” and when when I was growing up it was called, “quit crying and you’ll get over it”! What? Those images stays with me all my life. As I stated the images has a lasting statements in our lives even when it’s a painting, picture,speech or even a blog. Overtime, I received numerous “bullying” from my own ethnic community because my skin is so fair and “freckles”, hair is red and culture background was not like society other words…we were brought up in upper class and private schools all the way until high school. Both of our parents, are highly educated and “African-American in 1970’s -1980’s. Now…do get the image? Believe this image still stays with my brother and I till this day. With time and some therapy (yes I said therapy), and I have been taught how to deal with acceptance of my image. Growing up through my early adult years was very “shy” because of image that I was or teased/bullied.

Reading this passage of “Ways of Seeing” by John Berger, there’s are various similarities that I have experienced that I have expressed.I agree with some of his views. However, overtime and especially the rise of exposure of our technology of internet/communications. Photos are carbon copy on the internet of these images that follows you. It’s just not like in time before with snap shot photos, or portraits but even though the images can stay with you for a life time. Remember your first image that you may portray could be lasting portrayal someone that matters in your lifetime.